Normally he is around and we share the duties.
It is very apparent that when we are together, I am the bad cop and he is the good cop, in other words he gets to have all the fun, and I have to be the disciplinarian.
In talking to a lot of my fellow wives and mothers, it is often a common occurrence that the wives are the bad cops and the husbands the good fun playful ones. I always feel a little annoyed about always having to be the non fun one, but somebody has to do it right?
So these last few days have been so interesting to me because I have gotten the chance to be both, and I have enjoyed it so much more. We have had fun and then when I have to get things done, I have switched gears and become bad cop again, but because I have had the opportunity to have fun and be light and playful – I have found myself feeling like I am a more balanced person and I don’t go to bed feeling that I am the dragon Stepmother who is always the kill joy of anything that might be fun.
I was in a cafe with them yesterday and even a man next door to us, commented on how imaginative I was being with them and how rare and delightful it was for him to hear and witness it.
I felt so fulfilled when he said that and it was almost as if I had come off stage and someone had complimented me on my work. (Yes at one point I was a full fledged theatre actress).
As parents we don’t often get acknowledged for being good parents, we often feel people looking at us as if we are overbearing or overindulgent. At least, I always feel that people are judging, and perhaps that is just an aspect of my nature that I worry a lot about what people might think. But this year my resolution is to be more daring and live more fully in what I believe and have alot of fun and feel more alive.
I hope that you are all in good stead after the long holiday season.
I certainly feel more invigorated and joyful because I have had the experience of being both cops.
I do want my husband to come home, but perhaps he can find a way to help me be both and that would mean him becoming more of a bad cop himself.
One can live in hope right?