So I was perusing as I always do through Facebook (once a day I promise) and I found an article that had been posted by someone from a non-parent who was listing ten things that you should never say to kids.
There were things such as: “You are so bad at doing this” or “You look terrible”, things that you hope parents do not say to their children. One of the things that was suggested was that you shouldn’t tell your kids, “Stop arguing with me!!”
I was really frustrated when I read that, and I immediately chastised myself for having told that to at least one of my Stepdaughters countless times, in fact I often find that she treats me like I am some person that is younger than her and not older than her. If I don’t ask her to stop arguing with me she continues to make her point over and over again, until I agree with her, even when I know that her reasoning is dare I say it unreasonable, at least ninety percent of the time. If I have gone overboard with her than I do apologize. I probably said something out of frustration from listening to my daughter arguing this point over and over again.
If I didn’t say this I wouldn’t be doing her a favor I don’t think by hearing her out when she is ultimately trying to be right, or cover up a lie or something she did that she doesn’t want to get blamed for. Of course there are times when she has a right to argue but they are very few in my opinion.
This is my point, if you are a person who has not been exposed to preteens, teens and adolescents then I suggest that you cannot dictate what you should do as a parent.
It is like a
relationship adviser who has never been in a relationship with someone.
If you my readers are parents than perhaps you know what it is like, to get that advice from the non parent brigade.
I think that every child requires a different kind of discipline and the problem with all parental advice is that each kid requires their own kind of discipline and specific way that you relate to them.
In other words I am learning all of this as I am in it. I can only do my best.
I just had to say if you aren’t a parent yet, you cant always really know what is best for kids. I appreciate your advice, but let’s face it until you are in it, you don’t always know what you should do, and when you are in it you are too busy just trying to get through the endless conflicts and rising emotions that occur on a daily basis, that the mere mention of what you shouldn’t or should do can get your blood curdling.